Be An Adviser Not A Criticizer

A lot of people tend to criticize others but they often don’t realize what their (sometimes false) judgment can do to their feelings.

We should always try to feel with others and not do anything that hurts them. And that’s why I advise you to advise people, not criticize them.

So, if you do see or hear about something wrong that someone else did, and you care about them enough to want their best interest and well-being, you could advise them instead of criticizing them.

Advising is much softer than criticizing and people are more willing to accept it than accept criticism. If you do it the right way, your advice might do people a lot of good In shaa Allah.

Here’s how you can give good advice and be a brilliant and accepted adviser:

1.

First of all, if you want to give advice, make sure you give it in private, between you and the other person you’re giving advice to. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be much of an advice if you show a person’s flaws in front of other people, it would be like you’re exposing them rather than advising them to improve.

2.

You have to listen very carefully to the person you want to give advice to, because each situation is unique and you need to know the best you can about the case before giving your honest advice.

3.

You should put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Think about how you would react if you’re in his/her place with his/her unique circumstances and give your advice to him/her based on that. This will enable you to give more reasonable advice because you’ll be giving it according to the other person’s case and not depending on your experience.

4.

While you’re trying to find the appropriate advice, try to think of the consequences of taking your advice. Try to think of both the short term and long term consequences. Taking your advice should leave the person you’re giving the advice to in a better situation, otherwise, it won’t be good advice.

5.

When giving your advice, make sure you show empathy with the other person. You should be careful how you choose your words and be careful not to hurt the other person’s feelings. Try to be more logical when you help him/her find a solution to his/her conflict.

6.

Sometimes, you won’t have the advice to give that easily. So, it’s good to brainstorm with the other person to reach some ideas for advice. The other person might be able to come up with advice on his/her own. That might even be better because he/she is more likely to take that advice because he/she thought of it for him/herself.

7.

It’s extremely important to be honest when you give advice. Tell the other person all they need to know about your advice; what the advantages and disadvantages of taking your advice are likely to be. If you don’t know what advice you should give them, let them know that you’re not capable of advising them. After all, you want to help people make good decisions, you wouldn’t want to just give them any advice that might end up making the situation worse for them.

8.

Keep in mind that if you give advice but do the opposite yourself, you wouldn’t be credible for giving advice in the first place. You have to set a good example for others. Your words have to be consistent with your actions otherwise your advice won’t be reliable.

9.

Finally, you have to understand that your advice might not be taken by the person you give it to. When someone asks for your advice but end up not taking it, it’s okay, this person might not feel that your advice is the best for their situation and he/she might decide to do something else. Accept this result and let that person live with his/her own decisions.

You’ll feel very good about yourself when someone asks for your advice. But it’s a great responsibility to do so. You have to make sure that your advice will help others make sound decisions and that it won’t cause them destructive consequences. Hence, be accurate and conscientious when giving your advice and guidance to anyone. Most importantly, always give constructive advice when you’re able to because it’s better to pass on the help when you’re knowledgeable than to keep it to yourself.

I hope your enjoyed reading this post. Do comment your thoughts below; tell me what you think, do you agree with me or not?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s